PHOTO CREDIT: @CANDYHUNTING ON INSTAGRAM
My name is Simona and I am passionate about one and only one thing during the holiday season. Liquor filled chocolates. Now, I understand that I can go and search high and low for these delectable treats. A quick online search renders buying options from $6 to $60 for these morsels at European import shops. However, the best part of the Trader Joe's Brandy Beans? These suckers were $2.99.
Sure, you hardly got enough booze to even warrent the ID requirement at checkout, but it was a vibe. And the shareability - immaculate. I loved making any friend who came over to my apartment in the dead of winter warm up with a hair of the dog bean. If I had a rough day at work? Nothing a bean couldn't fix. I have a craving only beans can satisfy. It was more than a box of chocolates. It became a culture. I became the girl with the beans.
LOOK AT HOW STINKING CUTE THESE THINGS ARE.
PHOTO CREDIT: WHAT'S GOOD AT TRADER JOE'S?
Every year my roommate would moan, "The beans? Again?" And every year my roommate would eat about half the box. Each year I purchased more and more boxes of beans. I was the Bean King. Savior of the Beans. Not only are the beans extremely adorable, being only about an inch in length. But there were 24 per box, making the cost of pure joy about 12 cents each. And unlike a normal box of assorted chocolates, you knew exactly what you were getting every time. No fruit creams, no creamy beige goop, no sticky mush, only chocolate and booze.
2020 rolled around with great loss. One of the biggest? Trader Joe's Brandy Beans. I know that many items at TJ's are limited and often go away after one season, but these beans have been a seasonal item at Trader Joe's for over 15 years. That's a core product at that point. They got us hooked on the bean, then they took it away. At first I thought it was a supply chain issue gone the way of many a European product that year. Heck, even the imported Italian pasta maker my roommate ordered in 2020 never arrived. But then by the end of November, I took to Google for answers.
According to this November 27, 2020 article on Medium by Monica Romano (a person who I'm sure shares a similiar passion for #thebeans), "According to an official memo released by Trader Joe’s, 'No Brandy Beans in 2020 due to labeling issues. Brandy Beans will be returning in 2021.'" There wasn't a source for this "official memo", but I did post a response on Twitter after reading the news, but hopeful that the beans would return in 2021. After all, if it was a labeling issue, and many other import shops sell a similar product, it should come back easily, right? Even Trader Joe's introduced a different booze-filled product in 2020, the "Boozy Little Chocolate Truffles". So what is this unresolved labeling issue?
Possibly another year of loss for Brandy Beans https://t.co/wdtYOPVEMm
— 𝔽𝕠𝕣𝕥𝕚𝕤𝕤𝕚𝕞𝕠𝕟𝕒 (@Fortissimona) November 13, 2021
It is now November 13, 2021, and after last night's trip to Trader Joe's to browse the holiday items, I returned beanless. Now this isn't to say The Great Brandy Bean, Charlie Brown won't show up after Thanksgiving, but I found some incriminating evidence that the bean has been assassinated. According a comment this October 19, 2021 Reddit post on r/traderjoes, the beans have been tagged as discontinued on the store computers. Via r/traderjoes moderator CookieButterLovers, "I hate to be the bearer of bad news but I was told by two different stores that the Brandy Beans have now been labeled as "discontinued" in their computer, it was updated in July 2021."
As a lover of business law, can I legally hold Trader Joe's to their "official memo" (the one I can't find lol)? Can I, the Bean King, demand an explanation for the demise of the bean? Did Trader Joe's singlehandedly kill Father Christmas? I think yes. Comment below to petition for the return of our lord and savior Brandy Bean. One of the many great and powerful Brandy's. I thank you for determination and courage during this uncertain time. Or let me know what other holiday disappointments you'd like my opinion on! Thank you for reading my product review, keep an eye out for more articles like this by following my Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram for post updates! 
No comments:
Post a Comment